Bore Comics Thread: Crisis On Infinite Megathreads

[Howard Alan Treesong]

[chronovore]

Put me in with the "Morrison (and especially Morrison/Quietly) =  " crowd.  I did like it when they did the Authority though, go figure.

It's like I don't even know you. You are dead to me.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ded.

[close]

Morrison wants to be Alan Moore so bad his stories are becoming jokes. DC is going to need to do REALLY FINAL CRISIS once he's done fucking with Batman.

I'm pretty sure that, despite both of them claiming to be magicians, Alan Moore is eccentric but verifiably sane and Morrison is probably actually insane but socially productive. Any writer who doesn't respect and admire Alan Moore is speaking from a place of jealous self-delusion; even Warren Fucking Ellis is pretty candid with the regard in which he holds AM.

Sadly, I must admit to speaking out of ignorance. I've heard the Batman stuff he's been doing is a bit esoteric and, unlike his I-don't-really-give-a-shit-about-canon run on NEW X-MEN, I've heard that he's bringing the craziest stuff out for Bats. I also wasn't entirely fond of Morrison's pretentious Arkham Asylum when it first came out, so...

[ManaByte]

The only artist worse than Quietly is Liefeld. It's like Quietly makes too much an effort to make his Superheroes look extremely gay.

[bork]

I'm thinking specifically about the "New X-Men."  I hated it so much.  The story, the art, the roster, the costumes...yuck.  Haven't been much of an X-Men fan since then; wasn't thrilled with Astonishing X-Men, the new teams (with Wolverine appearing on every fucking one of them), the Academy-X stuff, and everything after, although I kind of remember liking House Of M.  But I only read the first five or so issues (whatever was collected in the first TPB) of New X-Men and stopped after that, so if it got better, I will see about going back and reading everything I missed.

Only just in the last few months have I decided to try some of the books again.  The funny thing is that I have fond memories of a lot of the stories Chris Clarement did, but then X-Men Forever came out and sucked a sweaty ball sack.

[bork]

The only artist worse than Quietly is Liefeld. It's like Quietly makes too much an effort to make his Superheroes look extremely gay.

Can't agree with that.  There's a difference between the two:  Quietly can actually draw; I think his artwork is ugly, but he's certainly got talent.  Liefeld cannot draw for shit, yet somehow managed to make himself a career in comics, and even got himself a Levi's commercial. 

[Ichirou]

I miss the '80s.  Jerry Ordway, Jim Aparo, Norm Breyfogle...those were great comic book artists.

[bork]

I got a lot of old TPBs at my folks' place.  Recently I re-read X-Tinction Agenda from the early 90s.  It was like X-Men (Jim Lee)  , X-Factor ()  , and finally The New Mutants (Our good buddy Rob)  as far as the art goes.

It also seems like just about all the superhero books sucked for a while from the mid-90s until the 2000s, but I still don't know what the fuck I was thinking at the time, dropping Marvel for Image.  I keep going through old comic boxes and looking through stuff, and so many of those Image mags are beyond awful, Erik Larson stuff aside.

[Cormacaroni]

Quitely's art is ugly? My god, just stop reading comics. He may draw ugly people, but ugly art? Are you fucking kidding me? I could stare at any Frank Quitely book all day.

[chronovore]

I remember when Image Comics launched, and it was all about "LOOK! These creators are famous for handling your favorite heroes at Marvel and DC! Now watch what happens when they're OFF THE LEASH!"

...and it was all crap. It all seemed like second-run imitations of Marvel and DC crap, nothing new under the sun, and McFarlane couldn't write, and his Spawn series was just tremendously clichéd and jumbled and horrible. It was funny, they drag in Gaiman to actually write something decent and he creates Angela, and with all the talk about creator-ownership and people getting their due, Gaiman sued McFarlane for not abiding by the terms of his creation of the character.

It was the same story when Dreamworks was founded; I got all excited to see what directors would do when they were not answerable to some massive, oppressive established movie studio -- and they produced Peacekeeper, a competent but generally lifeless, completely standard action movie.

[Eel O'Brian]

All-Star Superman is a terrific miniseries, you don't really have to know jack shit about Superman to enjoy it

Joe Kelly wrote a Superman story in Action Comics #775 called What's so funny about Truth, Justice & the American Way? which is probably the best single issue Superman comic in the past ten years.

I mostly hate new (mainstream) comics.  They're too expensive, too inbred, too charmless and cynical.  I mainly stick with reprints of stuff pre-1980 or independents nowadays, if I read at all.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I find it hard to take seriously any adult who takes Blackest Night seriously; I mean, it has the same plot and structure as The Care Bears Movie, for fuck's sake.

This is Geoff Johns: 

[Eric P]

you've watched the care bear movie enough to draw the parallels?

[Cormacaroni]

All-Star Superman is a terrific miniseries, you don't really have to know jack shit about Superman to enjoy it

Joe Kelly wrote a Superman story in Action Comics #775 called What's so funny about Truth, Justice & the American Way? which is probably the best single issue Superman comic in the past ten years.

I mostly hate new (mainstream) comics.  They're too expensive, too inbred, too charmless and cynical.  I mainly stick with reprints of stuff pre-1980 or independents nowadays, if I read at all.

That issue IS pretty awesome. Manchester Black

[Howard Alan Treesong]

you've watched the care bear movie enough to draw the parallels?

Only the once! I mean, it doesn't have the rewatchability of the Strawberry Shortcake movie.

Anyway, both Blackest Night and the Care Bears movie are about several different protagonists, each with a representative color and emotion, working together to make a big happy rainbow that stops the bad guys. I guess Blackest Night has more tits, as well as a villain named Larfleeze, a portmanteau of "lard" and "sleaze."

You know, Blackest Night also has the same plot as most Lucky Charms commercials.

[chronovore]

You know, Blackest Night also has the same plot as most Lucky Charms commercials.

Now those have rewatchability. Mmmm. Cereal.

[Diunx]

The only artist worse than Quietly is Liefeld. It's like Quietly makes too much an effort to make his Superheroes look extremely gay.

You suck at everything.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2009/05/11/lanterns-vs-care-bears-emotion-deathmatch/

[bork]

Quitely's art is ugly? My god, just stop reading comics. He may draw ugly people, but ugly art? Are you fucking kidding me? I could stare at any Frank Quitely book all day.

Considering that superhero comics focus on the people, uh...yeah.     Kind of reminds me of the guy who draws Initial D, where the cars are insanely detailed, but the people are ugly as sin.  Anyway, like I said, Quietly has talent.  I hate his artwork, but he's no Rob Liefeld.

[Cormacaroni]

Quitely's art is ugly? My god, just stop reading comics. He may draw ugly people, but ugly art? Are you fucking kidding me? I could stare at any Frank Quitely book all day.

Considering that superhero comics focus on the people, uh...yeah.     Kind of reminds me of the guy who draws Initial D, where the cars are insanely detailed, but the people are ugly as sin.  Anyway, like I said, Quietly has talent.  I hate his artwork, but he's no Rob Liefeld.

I weep for the blighted wasteland that is your soul. :'(

[Howard Alan Treesong]

[Van Cruncheon]

(Image removed from quote.)

omg annihilation

[Cormacaroni]

[bork]

It would have been perfect, but Jeff Loeb? 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

It was him or Geoff Johns! Johns sometimes accidentally writes something readable, though.

[bork]

It was him or Geoff Johns! Johns sometimes accidentally writes something readable, though.

I don't read anything from those two, although I did get Batman Hush a few years back...for Jim Lee. 

Am I right that Loeb is doing the Hulk stuff?  And Johns is of course doing DC Care Bears.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

yeah, that's right. Loeb has the most depressing quote in all comics.

In an interview with Loeb, Z. Julian Cenac of ComixFan.com noted that some readers were upset that the Red Hulk was able to thrash other powerful Marvel characters, and were concerned that such a high power-level wouldn't be sustainable. Loeb replied, "I tell the best stories I can."[24]

:linkinpark

[bork]

And now there's Red She-Hulk!  What creativity!

[ManaByte]

The only reason Loeb gets work is out of pity because his kid died.

[Great Rumbler]

I liked the work Jeph Loeb did on Long Halloween, Catwoman: When in Rome, and Superman for All Season. Does that makes me a bad person?

[Cormacaroni]

I think I've read all of those and all I can remember is some tasty art from Tim Sale and Darwyn Cooke. I don't think i've ever read a Loeb comic for the writing, in fact. I don't despise him or anything, he just leaves no impression for the  most part. The Ultimates stuff was beyond distinguished mentally-challenged but everybody gets one strike.

[ManaByte]

Ultimates: strike one
Heroes: strike two
Red Hulk: strike three

I can't belive he was allowed anywhere near Lost.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

God, he sure did turn Heroes from must-see TV into the laughing stock of the nation in 1 season flat

[ManaByte]

Not hating X-Men Forever. An X-Men book without Wolverine in every panel is a good thing.

[Ichirou]

I haven't read a mainstream superhero book in years.  I heard Blue Beetle got killed off, which pisses me off.  He was one of my all-time favorite comic book characters.

I think the last superhero comic book I read regularly was Kurt Busiek's Astro City.  Then he got mercury poisoning and stopped doing it.

I did pick up the Identity Crisis and Emerald Rebirth mini-series just to see what was going on and thought both were awful (but had nice artwork).

[Eel O'Brian]

I haven't read a mainstream superhero book in years.  I heard Blue Beetle got killed off, which pisses me off.  He was one of my all-time favorite comic book characters.

they killed him off in a really shitty way, too

[Diunx]

Pick up All Star Superman if you haven't read it, probably the best superhero book of the decade.

[Ichirou]

I haven't read a mainstream superhero book in years.  I heard Blue Beetle got killed off, which pisses me off.  He was one of my all-time favorite comic book characters.

they killed him off in a really shitty way, too

I have the entire '80s Justice League run packed in a box somewhere in my closet back home.  My all-time favorite superhero book.

I'm sure they'll bring the character back eventually...they do it with every single comic book character these days.

[Ichirou]

Pick up All Star Superman if you haven't read it, probably the best superhero book of the decade.

Is it out in paperback? I don't buy single issues anymore.

[Great Rumbler]

Pick up All Star Superman if you haven't read it, probably the best superhero book of the decade.

Is it out in paperback? I don't buy single issues anymore.

It's out in hardback release.

[Eric P]

i hope they do an absolute edition of that series

so awesome

[bork]

Not hating X-Men Forever. An X-Men book without Wolverine in every panel is a good thing.

No, instead you have Exiles-Sabretooth and WOLVER-KITTY taking his place.  I think I am gonna download all the issues so far, because the one issue I did read was a total trainwreck, and I'd like to know how it got to that point.  Also, if it takes place right after X-Men #1-3, where are the rest of the X-Men?  There's a bunch of them missing.

Speaking of Exiles, I just finished reading through the entire first 100 issue series.  Pretty fun read for the most part; most of the filler issues kind of sucked (I love how they take two issues to show what happens to four of the characters when they are all split up, but Mimic, who gets lost in an alternate reality for FOUR YEARS, gets nothing), and the Weapon-X stuff was awesome and way under-utilized...it was fun seeing the deranged/psychotic characters running around screwing with alternate realities.  Way, way too many Wolverines, but at least none of them were ever on the team roster.  (Of course Mimic had to have Wolvie claws and healing factor...can't have an "X" book without some kind of Wolverine!) 

Now it's time for New Exiles, which looks to be nothing like the original series and just more Claremont nuttiness.  I already know that it ends with zero explanation of how Psylocke got back to the main universe.  Brilliant! 

[bork]

I haven't read a mainstream superhero book in years.  I heard Blue Beetle got killed off, which pisses me off.  He was one of my all-time favorite comic book characters.

they killed him off in a really shitty way, too

And then they got some kid to replace him, right?  But the original is back as EVIL ZOMBIE MAN in DC Care Bears!

[Ichirou]

I just read the Wiki.  That makes no sense at all.  The Ted Kord Wiki says his body was incinerated, so how could he come back as a Black Lantern or whatever?  I can understand making a mistake in continuity for an older story, but wasn't Ted Kord killed off just a couple of years ago?  How can the writers have forgotten that the body was reduced to cinders?

[Eric P]

i really like Jamie Reyes, the new blue beetle

[Ichirou]

Never heard of that character.

[Cormacaroni]

I just read the Wiki.  That makes no sense at all.  The Ted Kord Wiki says his body was incinerated, so how could he come back as a Black Lantern or whatever?  I can understand making a mistake in continuity for an older story, but wasn't Ted Kord killed off just a couple of years ago?  How can the writers have forgotten that the body was reduced to cinders?

In Final Crisis, we see Batman's charred skeleton, and then him alive in a stone age cave a few pages later. Would love to know how both happened but I suspect only No-Prizes will be handed out for those who take issue with it, as usual. I'm waaaaaaay past caring about stuff like this. Note it in passing and accept it.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Jaime Reyes (the new young, Hispanic Blue Beetle) is really, really awesome. No offense meant to Ted Kord, who totally went out an undeserved punk.

I believe Ted Kord is back in the pages of Booster Gold, but since he's travelling with Booster throughout the multiverse, no one in main DC continuity knows he's "alive."

How have I lived my life in such a way to know these things.

EDIT: Apparently that only lasted for a few issues before Ted Kord redied again and is now a Black Lantern. COMICS!

[Eric P]

whoops

it's jaime reyes

totally awesome character

[bork]

Remember when characters dying in comics was a big deal?  Now it's like Dragonball Z.

[Cormacaroni]

Well, they can't ever die permanently now that the prospect of even the most questionable characters being turned into a multi-billion dollar movie franchise exists. It shouldn't really matter all that much, since most kids only read comics for 4-5 yrs - keep a character dead for that length of time and it has SOME meaning. The creators don't have a lot of choice in this.

One more reason to step outside of Marvel/DC.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I blame Waid and Johns, who want to play with the exact same toys they had in the 1970s

[chronovore]

Well, they can't ever die permanently now that the prospect of even the most questionable characters being turned into a multi-billion dollar movie franchise exists. It shouldn't really matter all that much, since most kids only read comics for 4-5 yrs - keep a character dead for that length of time and it has SOME meaning. The creators don't have a lot of choice in this.

One more reason to step outside of Marvel/DC.

Yeah, I don't mind death/resurrection if it's handled well, and there's the whole "too soon" thing -- most of these guys are dead for a couple months, and then they're back. Doesn't that mean a religion should be founded on them?

[Ichirou]

They killed off Superboy during Infinite Crisis and brought him back less than a year later.

They brought back Barry Allen, what the fuck...

Reading these wikis is fuck depressing.

Oh, they brought back Ice! Sweet, another of my favorite Justice League characters.  Just sucks that they brought her back only to kill off Ted Kord.

[Cormacaroni]

They killed off Superboy during Infinite Crisis and brought him back less than a year later.

They brought back Barry Allen, what the fuck...

Reading these wikis is fuck depressing.

Oh, they brought back Ice! Sweet, another of my favorite Justice League characters.  Just sucks that they brought her back only to kill off Ted Kord.

Just checking, 'cause you seem to be a bit out of the loop: have you read the JLA Classified stuff by the classic Giffen-DeMatteis-McGuire team? It was pretty awesome and featured Ice heavily.

[Ichirou]

I'm majorly out of the loop.  Are you talking about the Super Buddies thing?

[Cormacaroni]

here's what wikipedia has to say:

[edit] Formerly Known as the Justice League
Main article: Super Buddies
In 2003, Giffen, DeMatteis, and Maguire returned with a separate limited series called Formerly Known as the Justice League with the same humor as their Justice League run, and featuring some of the same characters in a team called the "Super Buddies" (a parody of the Super Friends). A follow-up limited series, entitled I Can't Believe It's Not the Justice League, soon was prepared, although it was delayed due to the events shown in the Identity Crisis limited series, but was eventually released as the second arc in JLA: Classified. The Super Buddies consisted of Blue Beetle; Booster Gold; Captain Atom, Fire; Mary Marvel; the Elongated Man with his wife, Sue Dibny; Maxwell Lord; and L-Ron. The second story arc of JLA: Classified focuses on the Super Buddies in a humorous story that features Power Girl, Guy Gardner, and Doctor Fate.

I can mail you the scans if you want, just pm me.

[Ichirou]

I have the first Super Buddies trade paperback.  I think a second series came out at some point but I don't know if it was collected into trade?

[Cormacaroni]

The 2nd series is the JLA Classified arc, "I Can't Believe It's Not the Justice League'' but no idea if it was collected.

[Cormacaroni]

They also did a reasonably fun Defenders mini-series for Marvel. Why Kevin McGuire isn't working on a major book at all times, I have no idea. Still does the best facial expressions in comics.

[Great Rumbler]

I don't read Marvel very much, but Planet Hulk was all kinds of awesome.