Yeahhhhhhh, I'm done with GTAIV. Over the years I have put in well over 90 hours into this game. I have given it more than one chance.
But before that I'm going to make a huge nitpick on my biggest issue with GTAIV.
People say GTAIV's story is "realistic", but it's still a cartoony story but with more realistic proportions of body parts, things like fingers that aren't glued to each other. There is nothing realistic about GTAIV's story. Oh hey, these guys just trashed a funeral with three waves of shooters to kill like two guys. That's totally realistic. Oh hey, this guy carrying 500k in his pocket is driving a garbage truck for some Italian asshole. I can go on and on, but more than that, it's mostly the world itself that intrudes on GTAIV being the gritty game that was advertised.
I personally think the rampant homophobia, ridiculous characters, and juvenile attempts at humor like TW@ Internet Cafe, Krapea (haha, it's Ikea but CRAP), or Gruppe Sechs (group sex haha, so funny) stand more in the way of crafting a believable gritty world than Niko desiring to kill people just to make ends meet despite having 500k in his pocket.
GTAIV suffers from an identity crisis. On one hand, it's a game that takes itself very seriously, to a fault, on the other...HAY COUSIN WANNA SEE AMERICAN TITTIES? And having a guy do random shit for people he barely knows like kill their enemies becaussssse...why again? Money? Haha, nice try Niko! I have 500k in my pocket because there's nothing to do or buy in this game! It's cartoony and yet serious at the same time. This creates a huge disconnect.
The Lost and the Damned, GTAIV's add on, is a much better example of GTAIV done right: a rags to even more rags story, telling the tale of the downfall of a biker gang.
I also find Red Dead Redemption to be a great example as well.
But ultimately, even IV isn't a good PORTRAYAL of a serious crime drama. It's like bottom feeder food of crime drama and besides the reasons I listed, so hard to take seriously. I think GTA is at its best when it's overtly cartoony. I was disappointed by IV, and then Chinatown Wars came out. I thought Chinatown was the best damn GTA since Vice City and the cartoony feel added a lot to that emotion. It wasn't ashamed of what it was, it felt natural, and the dialogue and characters fit the setting like a glove. I'm all for serious crime dramas in games, but even TLAD never managed to pull that off. I think that type of story is far above the Houser's writing capabilities. They are best at satire. Satire does not gel with serious drama.
Stop trying to mix both and try to convince people that it's realistic. The only people who would find such a story "realistic" are stupid high schoolers and college kids. So Rockstar, when crafting GTAV, I hope you take it to heart that people are not caricatures and when trying to write an actual gritty story. If you're going to write a gay man, just make a man who happens to like men - no lisp, no flamboyant clothing, no limp wrist; think of Omar from The Wire; if you're going to make me do random jobs for random assholes again this time, keep it to heart that these people should be INTERESTING. Having the main character go up to a random dude he heard from a friend, be told to kill someone despite having a nice, fat wad in his pocket that could be compared to an erection, is not going to sell me on your supposedly "gritty" tale, Rockstar. But more than that, who is this asshole I'm working for? Why should I give a shit? Why is the main character working for him beyond petty motivations like money? STOP IT. It feels like it belongs on the ps2, because it's what I experienced on the ps2.
Instead of really, REALLY badly written and juvenile takes on known brands such as Ikea, how about you make a real brand that people in real life would shop at. Give your art some meaning. It will certainly be a step up from me rolling my eyes at something I would have came up with in 5th grade.
Go out and reach for the stars, fellas and thanks for holding the industry back with your shitty writing.
