Marine Todd was excited to take his History of America course, he loved America and considered himself an amateur historian. He made sure to get their early so he could grab a seat in the front row, unfortunately due to his family commitments he had not had time to begin reading the textbooks and hoped that the professor would forgive him.
The professor came in, he was of average height with a beard and glasses though a little on the skinny side. Marine Todd gave him a big smile, the professor returned with a scowl.
Upon starting class the professor opened with "This class is about the history of America. The history of America is one of oppression, exploitation and imperialism. In short, America is evil." Marine Todd was shocked, but surely this must be some kind of rhetorical argument, he listened further: "The history of America is one of massacres and genocides, one of poverty and despair, one of theocracy and patriarchy, one of an endless lies told to mindless robots." At this last point he seemed to look at Marine Todd. "Any questions?"
Marine Todd raised his hand and asked "what about all the good things America has done?"
"What good things?" the professor snarled.
"Well, I have friends who were on the ships the Navy sent to bring fresh water and supplies to the victims of the Tsunami in-"
The professor cut him off "the Tsunami the American Empire caused through exploiting the natives, forcing them into poverty and then using the stolen resources to cause global warming which created the Tsunami. The lies your ignorant jarhead friends have been told are not accepted in a classroom only facts are, and the facts are that those ships were sent to preserve the American hold on those colonies."
Marine Todd had had it so he respectfully replied "those aren't our colonies, and that's just one example of the greatness of America!"
The professor growled "if you're such an expert, maybe you'd like to teach the class?" He sat in a seat, arms folded, waiting for Marine Todd to step up.
Marine Todd was nervous, he had been in Tora Bora but this was different. But he recognized that this was just another battle, another war he had to fight in for America. Even more important than the others he had. This was a fight for America's soul.
So Marine Todd stepped to the front of the class and began telling the students about the American Revolution, the Judeo-Christian founding of the nation, the Bill of Rights, the Emanicipation Proclamation, the saving of Europe in World War II, the Marshall Plan, the Civil Rights Movement, the Reagan Revolution, the Republican Revolution, the heros of 9/11 and the rise of the Tea Party.
At this point, Marine Todd noticed that all his classmates were furiously scribbling notes on what he was talking about. And that the professor had disappeared.
So Marine Todd asked "uh...any questions?" One student asked if the country really was founded on Judeo-Christian principles since he had been told differently in high school.
Just as Marine Todd began to explain the strong faith of the founders, the professor burst back into the room with a school administrator in tow. The professor pleaded with the administrator to call the police to remove the "unruly and warmonger" student. The administrator announced that Marine Todd would be expelled for hate speech.
Luckily, Marine Todd had read the Student Handbook and knew he was entitled to due process. So Marine Todd pleaded not just his case but the case for America in front of a panel of stern looking Board members. After a brief conferral, the head of the Board looked Marine Todd straight in the eye and said "Semper Fi."
Marine Todd is now head of the History Department, teaching regular classes on the faith and spirit of America, while also spending time to raise his family and help promote a remarkable revival of Christian values on the campus. He has been voted Best Person on Campus year after year by the students who love the strong values and morals he's brought to the once God-less halls. Not to mention weekly celebrations of America and what she stands for.
The professor now blogs unpaid for the Huffington Post.
